The Wonderous Ramblings of Wolves
by jstarrh
Summary: A look into the pack to see how they are handling their new lives as wolves.


_A/N – Just a little something new I decided to try out! Hope you enjoy. This is for Tiggrmommi and Dani, they know why!_

_I do not own!_

Okay so one day I'm cruising through town, minding my own business, being a normal teenager. Hanging with my friends, enjoying life and then suddenly all the fun and games come to an end. I get some insane fever or something, I thought I was going to die and then poof I'm a wolf. Let me tell you, there is nothing that anyone can say that will prepare you for that. It's all fun and games until someone turns canine.

You know when this wolf thing first started I was pretty excited. I mean that is a pretty unique pick up line don't you think? _Hey baby would you like to check out my fur? _But no then I started finding out about all the rules. You really should have to sign a waiver before you phase but I really had no say in the matter, ancestry and all that jazz. It wasn't long before I found out the long and ever growing list rules and things of interest. I won't bore you with them all but here are the main ones:

I can't tell anyone outside of the tribe.

Dating is pretty useless since I will meet the girl of my dreams one day and no one else will matter but her. Hopefully she agrees and is old enough to walk but no one is too clear on that yet.

The whole reason we existed (killing vampires) was not allowed because some brilliant person years ago had signed a treaty.

Being a wolf was not glamorous. I was basically an overworked, underpaid bodyguard for Bella.

Oh Bella, sweet little I fall when I get out of bed Bella. She was basically the reason for our existence at the moment. Dating a vampire, best friends with a werewolf and she thought being clumsy was bad enough luck. I mean honestly it wasn't a complete day unless Jacob asked us to protect Bella from one mishap or another. To be fair my idea of life threatening and Jacob's were vastly different where Bella was concerned. Her running out of Kleenex did not mean I had to run half naked to a store in the middle of the night. I imagined she was fully capable of using toilet paper.

The first time I met her I wondered what her draw was. She wasn't hard on the eyes but she always smelled so incredibly bad. She smelled like them which was enough to revolt me on its own. Let me think of some way to describe the way that those freezer pops smell…it is like a mixture of decaying animals and Icy Hot. That may not sound that bad but why don't you go and give it a try and let me know what you think. Okay, back to Bella, she smells like that with a faint hint of flowers. It is like when someone has something smelly in the trash and then decides to use deodorizer spray over it to mask the smell. It never works and usually just ends up making things smell worse than they did before. Yes, that is what Bella smells like, poorly disguised rotting trash. Not something that I want to spend my days with but to Jacob she hung the moon.

After falling into bed exhausted after spending yet another night sniffing around Bella's backyard making sure no stray squirrels dared to cross her path. I awoke when the sun could no longer be ignored. I rolled out of bed and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. I needed some sort of snack before I headed over to Sam's for lunch. As I pursued the contents I grabbed a Sprite and cracked it open on my abs. I had to use them for something since I couldn't use them to get a girl.

After a few more minutes of looking I grabbed a 24 pack of hot dogs, a carton of potato salad and some chips. That should hold me over until I got the Sam's house. Today was hopefully supposed to be quiet. Jacob had said that Bella was off to see a movie or something allegedly non dangerous like that so he wasn't as concerned. When I say wasn't as concerned that means that he followed her to theater and sat only 5 rows behind her instead of the usual 2. I was proud of the progress he was showing.

I finished my snack and went to my room to survey the damage from the night before. Another pair of shoes destroyed and another shirt frayed at the seams. I was going to start sending my clothing bills to Bella to have the vamp take care of them. It was his fault we were in this mess in the first place. You know it's bad when not even a vampire can keep you safe. Of course both Jacob and the vamp had different ideas of what constituted safe for Bella.

I found my last pair of shorts. I used to be embarrassed at how short they were when I first started phasing but now I realized it was just easier that way. I had tried shaving my legs once to see if it cut down on hair when I phased but that did not work quite as planned. It was just stubbly and itched like no one's business. Then when it grew back it was longer and thicker than before. Those Nair commercials lie. Nair for short shorts my...sorry I almost got carried away.

I was all ready to go. It didn't take you long when your only clothing consisted of shorts and ratty tennis shoes when the phone rang. I knew what this would be without even needing to pick up the phone. I took off my shorts before I even answered. So begins another day of keeping Forks safe for Bella.

I ran to the woods and phased. I couldn't believe that she was really in trouble yet again. I mean really how is she in trouble again? At what point do they just put the girl under house arrest in order to keep her safe? It's getting a little old, this entire damsel in distress stuff. Some guys might like swooping in to save the day but personally I prefer sleep.

So once again we ran off to save Jacob's girl. Who really wasn't Jacob's girl because she was the vampires girl but that was a minor detail. He had a plan. Foolproof he said but that remained to be seen. One day he was going to have to realize that she really loved the vamp but for now he was all about the plan. It really wasn't my problem. Okay, that's not true. When I had to spend all my time around him listening to him wax poetic about her it became my problem. _B is for her beautiful brown eyes, E is for the everything that I love about her, L is for her luscious lips..._well you get the idea.

We met up in the woods and awaited direction. Jacob was frantically sending out messages to us but I tuned out after I didn't hear the key words I had learned to look for _rogue, vampire, death, kill, hunt, destroy_. Once I didn't hear any of those I settled down and tried to get some sleep and dream of a world where the only thing I had to worry about was what kind of detangler to use when I got caught in wolf mode.

I was almost asleep when Jacob popped in over the wolf line.

_I need help guys; I think she is in trouble._

Of course she was. I wondered what it could be now. Choke on a piece of popcorn, swallow down the wrong pipe, someone sat in front of her at the movie?

_What now Jacob? _

Sam was getting sick of this too but we really had nothing better to do. Good thing I had eaten something because apparently operation save Bella was back on for the day. Such was the life of a werewolf, there was no glitz, no glamour but hey I got to help stalk a girl all in the name of love and werewolf duty and let's be honest, life doesn't get better than that does it?

_More will be coming hopefully soon!_


End file.
